Well, here I am, Boyfriend less again. How did this happen? I was in such a great relationship, or at least I thought I was. Now as much as you, the reader, wants to hear yet another one of my bitch fests… (Yeah right) I just gotta get this off my chest. Girls, DON’T DATE A MOMMA’S BOY! That’s what Jason (my ex boyfriend) was. He cared more about what his family thought of me that what he thought of me. Let’s start from the beginning shall we?

I think from the beginning, his parents didn’t really like me. Apparently after I would leave their house after visiting with them, they would tell Jason stuff like I was lazy or I needed to do this or that. He, in turn, would tell me. Not so much directly, but in a suggestive sort of way. For example, I didn’t work for about 2 years because I am going full time to collage. I actually quit my old job at pizza hut to concentrate on my artwork at school, and as many times as I’ve told this to Jason he still insisted I get a part-time job somewhere. Then, he’d have the nerve to say to me ‘Don’t do it for me, do it for yourself’.

If this wasn’t bad enough, his parents never said that stuff to me. They left it up to him. They were all smiles and sweetness to my face which makes the backstabbing so much more painful. Another thing that hurt was when I helped Jason’s brother, Brian and his, new fiancée Gina move to their first house. I helped carry out and in all the boxes and such. Helped put things away and did basically what I thought was within my limitations to do. Later that evening, after they (Brian and Gina) were all moved in, Jason and Brian’s parents came over after work to see the new place. I found out later (from Jason no less) that his parents didn’t think I did anything, or didn’t do enough to help. EXCUSE ME! I didn’t have to help AT ALL! I highly doubt Jason defended me at all from the comments his father and mother made about that!

Anyway, this is what lead to our big fight. We also fought about how he wanted me to get a job and, learn to drive. I told him I understood that, but 1: I wanted to concentrate on school and 2: I couldn’t get my drivers license until I could pay for the insurance. He also complained about my house cleaning habits, and I had been trying to improve them but it was never good enough for him. It seemed like anything I did was never good enough or fast enough, or just plain… enough, for him! And so in my rage and frustration, I did something completely stupid that I regret it to this day… I smacked him… in the shoulder... 4 or 5 times with my palm… pretty hard. I, of course, also said some stuff I didn’t mean like ‘I hate you’, but then, don’t we all in situations like that? I was crying and inconsolable by that time. It shouldn’t have gone that far but he kept pushing me…

About a week later after much apologizing from me, we ‘made up’. He spent the whole week with me and I think that was because his parents were out of town for that week. I asked him to tell his parents how sorry I was and that we had made up. He did, but said his parents wouldn’t forgive me. I noticed a change in his attitude after that. He used to call me everyday, but now I had to call him just to talk to him. A few more weeks passed and Thanksgiving was coming up. I had put in an application to Lazarus and was on my way to a new job. I told Jason and he sounded pleased. I also told him to tell his parents that I had a job now, hoping this would appease them. I wanted to spend the holidays with Jason and his family. I had even bought everybody presents back in Sep. He told them, but they said I was still not welcome. The last time I heard from Jason was on the phone. I called him just to talk, but he was at a bar and so I couldn’t talk for very long due to the noise. I asked if his family forgave me yet and he said ‘no’.

Then I said, ‘Well I don’t care what your family thinks of me, as long as you still love me.’

*a long pause*

‘You still love me right?’

*even longer pause*

‘Ehh…yeah….can I call you tomorrow?’

I knew then that it was over. I just knew… but I didn’t want to believe it. I tried to call back later and even left messages on his voicemail but he never called back. Soon afterwards he must have changed his # or cell phone service because the number I call is not in service anymore. That was the last I ever heard from him.

The last I ever heard from the man who told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him, the man who wanted to get engaged as soon as I was done with collage, the man who told me he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me… and also… the man who lectured to me about how we’re all human and that we all make mistakes, and how important it is to learn from those mistakes. And so I end with this…

That I will Jason... that I will.